Parenting at a distance

You may or may not know it, but when Emily first got sick I was on the other side of the world for work.  It was difficult for me to hear she was sick and not getting better.  I'm sure it was scary for my husband who was the one at home dealing with it all, but not being there, having absolutely no control and not even being able to ask the doctors all the questions I had was so hard.  Then when things took a turn for the worse my work rushed me home.  That 13 hour flight was the worst because at least when I was in the office I could get a call from my husband if there was a change, but on the flight there were no phones and for 13 hours I honestly worried that I may have held Emily for the last time months ago and didn't even known it.

I'm gone again for work and being away is surreal.  All of my work items where packed away after I rushed home the last time and still have things the way I had left them.  The book I was reading when Emily got sick still had the sticky note with the nurse's email from her first hospital; my digital picture frame has photos all pre-SOJIA.  It's almost like SOJIA was a bad dream and I just woke up back in the office, although it's a new office and this time I am only a six hour flight away, but sometimes I have to remind myself it really did happen.

It's another dimension to all of this, not bad, just different.  So this is why I have not been posting on Tuesday and Thursday; I am parenting at a distance which consists of lost of wishful thinking and updates from my husband. At least this time there is no fever and there is no rash.